Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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