Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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