cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
