They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
