Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
