oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
