I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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