Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
