Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
