dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Bring me that man meat
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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