After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i already hear my dad disowning me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
