Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
