This girl is more easily done than said...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
