so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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