She just used a chaser for red wine.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
