bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
40s are totally the cure
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
