About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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