I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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