Can Purell be used as lube?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
