Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
