I wish I only lived at night.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
