Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
