Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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