Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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