You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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