oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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