I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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