i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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