I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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