i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
