She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
