Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
