She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
