We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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