but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize