He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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