"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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