So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
