During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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