She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
