Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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