i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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