I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just invented taco cereal.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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