So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
