Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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