That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
