Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My pussy is not your playground.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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