there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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