is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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