Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
