i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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