he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
