You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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